He was that beautiful lie that I told myself about love. The lesson that truly made an honest woman, an infinite being of me.
He taught me that no matter what, I am not bulletproof. And that it is not bullets that I should fear. Bullet wounds heal.
Flesh and mettle melded me into the element of warrior. She is what I have come to understand is love's most loyal companion. And the only shield I'll ever need is the reflection of my light.
He revealed to me that selfish will is the thing that I fear. And I now know that I have no place in battles with selfish will because it sits on the whim of things constructed and perceived to create barriers. It is among the most unoriginal functions of the human psyche. It exaggerates our natural tendencies to bloom--sharing, showcasing celebrating identity; and misconstrues the equilibrium that is the inevitable balance of time, the definition of survival. It is the seed of all conflict. It is the scourge of existence.
Alas, because I accept fear at all, like love, I too am and will always be flawed. Incomplete. Now more than ever I seek to see the lie between the beauty that I know is inherent in all things--the deceptive discourse that we use in attempting to translate our dreams into shared consciousness. My truest nature precedes me and unfortunately an open, honest and generous heart is unbelievable to most. It is its own beautiful lie...until it proves to be the truth. By that time, because we are conditioned not to take the truth for granted, because lies fulfill and perpetuate fantastic fantasies that form our captive imagination, we are, I am indeed lost in translation. A beautiful aspiration, a beautiful destination, a beautiful emptiness, a beautiful unknown.
Come what may, my soul will survive. So too will the beautiful lie that is love.
